Nº80: Bee Beardsworth
The writer, curator and model talks Irréversible (2003), Doorknob Girl, and her perfume column.
We’re back with Bee Beardsworth. Read on to find out what she’s into, and if you’re new here, hit subscribe for secret recommendations every week.
Bee Beardsworth is your favourite’s favourite. Talents include holding excellent dinner party conversation, being on the guest list and always having a spare cigarette.
VISIONS: Visions - One of my favourite albums of all time. If you were a Tumblr girl, you know. Sonic spacey weird girl perfection. The lore is an integral part of my enduring love; Grimes created this entire thing whilst locked in a room for nine days consuming amphetamines, inspired by the 11th century abbess Hildegard von Bingen. I would inject Genesis into my veins if I could. If you ever see me walking home in the early hours of the morning, this is what I’m listening to.
☞ DOORKNOB GIRL: Crafts of modernity recorded via iPhone; including but not limited to bread baked from Petunia the sourdough starter, crayons melted and reformed into safe shapes for Baby and dry yogurt bowls artisanally assembled for Him. But who is Doorknob Girl? Baby? Him? I ponder these questions as I find myself soothed, disturbed and amused by the surrealistically satirical monotone voice overs paired with 639hz heart chakra healing music. All you need to know is that Petunia is a blessing to our home.
☞ DANCER FROM THE DANCE: Dancer from the Dance by Andrew Holleran - I’ve just finished reading this for the second time, and I fell in love on every page. Set in the gay scene of 1970s New York, Holleran’s writing captures the aching beauty, painful intricacies, soaring ecstasy and plummeting comedowns of a life lived for sex, love and losing yourself on the dance floor. Favourite quotes include: “Perrier, ‘The mineral water of aware French women everywhere,’”’ and “The more beautiful the sky, the more hopeless the neighbourhood.”
☞ IRREVERSIBLE: Irréversible (2003) d. Gasper Noé - Heartbreaking, extreme and uncomfortable would be a gross understatement. Not for the faint of heart or fragile of temperament. Do I think about this film nearly every single day? Yes. This film branded my mind with an ever deepening reverence for the ephemeral moments and fractures of chance that make life both so exquisitely painful and beautiful. (NB: Maybe don’t watch this without googling the plot first.)
☞ NOSE DIVE: I <3 PERFUME. Do you want to smell good? I don’t care. Do you want to smell like sex, death, a gothic romance, or a nightclub? I’ve got the column for you. This is my perfume column for Dazed Beauty, and it’s amazing, hilarious, and just what Carrie would have written if she was way funnier, hotter and lived in East London in the 2020s. On that note, perfumes that I currently adore (in no particular order): Pavilion by Andrea Maack, Animalique by Byredo, Amber Kiso by D.S. & Durga and Boccanera by Orto Parisi. Last note on perfume: if you’re ever at a loss at what to do, go on Fragrantica and read reviews. It’s a revelatory experience.
☞ GRANT MUSEUM OF ZOOLOGY: Grant Museum of Zoology, Fitzrovia: if you love animals, insects, fossils or taxidermy, you’re in luck. Kind of creepy, kind of cool. Also free, unlike pretty much anything else in central London.
☞ 392 KINGSLAND ROAD, DALSTON: I did not live in the UK as a teenager, and as a result have little to no interest in being in a pub or anywhere pub-adjacent. This is the best bar in London. Get a filthy martini here.
☞ UTOPIAN BODY: by Micheal Foucalt: An essay that is quite pretentious but I’m a white girl and I spent half my life hating my body, so it’s obviously a favourite of mine. I reference it in multiple things I’ve written - most recently this.
☞ PULP ZINE ISSUE 1: fucking in the bathroom (Dancefloor Love) - a great writer commissioned me to write something about my kink. I told her that I didn’t really have one. It turns out I was wrong.
☞ BIOTHERM BUERRE DE LÈVRES LIP BALM: Trust me.
☞ MY OWN: INS & OUTS list.
☞ ADVICE: Don’t ask questions you don’t want to know the answer to. A year ago or so, I realised that 90% of the time I was the one seeking out the things that were upsetting me. Ignorance is bliss. Maybe that person doesn’t like you. Maybe you did make a bad choice. Maybe you do look tired. Who gives a fuck. Stop digging holes for yourself to fall into.
♪ LISTENING TO:
Vacillator by Ethel Cain
All I Need by Radiohead
Fastlove, Pt 1 by George Michael
Break The Ice by Britney Spears
☠ HATES:
Airport security at Heathrow (London City TILL I DIE).
Adverts permeating every streaming service and social media platform. ISN’T HARVESTING OUR BACKGROUND DATA AND EAVESDROPPING ON ALL OUR CONVERSATIONS ENOUGH?
UK Government. Like… flop city.
Thanks Bee! Follow Bee here! Read her DAZED column here! Subscribe to her Substack here!
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